Celtics vs. Lakers: An Epic Firefox Fail

As for my system crash, I blame Flash and Firefox. I love Firefox and I can’t get rid of Flash in my life yet, but both of them are unwieldy resource hogs, especially on Linux. I am writing a letter to the Firefox installed on my netbook:

Dear Firefox,

I was with you since the beginning. I installed you at a mere version .85 and since then you have been my favorite browser. Your promises of adhering to standards, providing an alternative to evil Internet Explorer, promoting a Free and Open Source development process and providing an extendability feature unrivaled to this day were all feathers in a cap you hoped would one day fit you. And that day did come, and you reached many milestones in your life: Version 1.0 featured an ad campaign previously unheard of for an Open Source project; version 1.5 was faster still; version 2.0 brought about more standards adherence and new interface concepts to be imitated later by your rivals, and versions 3.0 and 3.5 continued to add feature after feature and better and better standards support.

But with all of this growth, you have become a big beast. I don’t want to call it bloat, because you have very few features that are unnecessary or seem extraneous, but you do have features that I personally don’t need. You utilize resources suitable for a desktop, but my netbook is but a waif compared to desktops and as a result, you strain her too much: her failing for sure, not yours, but a reality I must deal with. Your inability to play nice with few resources has left you incompatible with my current computer situation.

Firefox, I am leaving you. I am moving on to a faster, younger, sleeker, more svelte browser. Her name is Chromium, she’s the cute non-identical twin to Google Chrome. She’s got all the great features of Chrome, but without all the emotional baggage. I’ve been checking her out for a few months now, and we have gone for coffee once or twice, but I never cheated on you with her. She was young and immature then, but now that she has grown into her own with version 5, I think I am going to give her a chance.

You knew this was how I rolled, Firefox. You knew that I always want the best, nuts to the rest, and you are just not cutting it anymore. Some people like that big booty of yours, but it’s just too much junk in the trunk for me.

I hope there are no hard feelings. I’ll keep my eye on you in the future. Maybe if you start going to the gym or something we can meet up at a later date. Chromium knows that if she starts misbehaving I’ll drop her just as fast as I dropped you. This isn’t a marriage, this is a contractual agreement with a "terminate at any time" clause.

Maybe your time will come again, Firefox, but for now, I am rolling with Chromium.

Yours truly,
Jonathan

That’s my letter. I feel bad for doing it, but I just can’t handle the crashes and the horrendous Flash support. So far, Chromium seems far snappier, and it has the extensions I want and need. We will see how long this relationship lasts.

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One response to “Celtics vs. Lakers: An Epic Firefox Fail

  1. dude honesly i watch only interesting games